Tom, it's only since being on maternity leave that I've realised why you haven't collaborated on a design project with anybody recently; you've been waiting for me! Doh! Did I ever tell you why I started working in fashion? One word: DALLAS. From the age of six I've had to have my weekly hit of the show but there was a deal in place; I only got to watch Dallas if I was in my nightie. Did your mum say that to you, too? The nightie was invariably pink, highly flammable and screen printed with a random, unpopular cartoon character. Mum printed t-shirts for some big company and I got to keep any that had gone a bit wonky; I spent my childhood wearing out of focus t-shirts featuring cartoon characters that nobody liked. My favourite was Speedy Gonzalez. Whenever I wore it I would rip around the house shouting ‘riba riba underay underay’ whilst pretending to shoot my mother in the back of the leg. I'll take Speedy over Mickey any day, and I still like to shoot my mother in the back of the leg. Funny thing is, I recently met Lara Stone at a friend's wedding, she was wearing the blue tasseled dress from your first women's collection and, I have to say, Tom, it did have a wee touch of the old Dallas about it! We have so much in common.
Let's utilise this time whilst I'm on maternity leave; let's launch 'The Dallas Collection'. I may need to let out the side panels on the pencil skirts (for one season only).
Best wishes
Etc etc...
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