I've blown roughly one billion pounds in Boots over the past 9 weeks and, reluctantly, I've just taken advantage of one of their 'advantage cards', something I would have deemed 'uncool' in my previous life, i.e. 'life before baby' when all I had to worry about was being caught cruising Net-a-Porter during office hours and the only cards I carried were of the press discount variety. By the time I spend two billion pounds on my 'advantage' card I may have enough points for a free tube of toothpaste or even a discontinued shade of eyeshadow, one possibly renowned for it's allergy giving side effects. Eyelid eczema, now there's a beauty feature idea.
Whilst scouring the baby section for the 50th time this week, I noticed those clever people at Boots have merchandised the condoms next to the bottle teats. Is this some crazy mind game do you think, Gina? Are Boots really saying 'you got yourself into this mess, sister, so yes, we are gonna make this whole thing as awkward as possible!' It's distracting to put condoms next to teats, bum wipes and nappies, especially the 'Pleasuremax Warming' variety, yes, 'warming'. Took advantage of the 'three for two' offer, got triple points on my card, and arrived home with a plethora of different flavoured contraceptives. Sadly forgot to buy baby food, nappies, wet wipes, nappy sacks, bottle brush, Calpol so going back to Boots now for 51st time in seven days. The security guard twitches every time he sees me coming; either he's got an involuntary facial movement or the lack of sleep's making me paranoid.
Best wishes
Etc etc...
No comments:
Post a Comment